


Yesterday I died...Tomorrow's Bleeding....

by little_angry_kitten18



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family Feels, Self-Harm, mentions of selfharm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:57:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_angry_kitten18/pseuds/little_angry_kitten18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What are you doing here?" His head snapped towards the familiar voice and his eyes fell on the form of a small child. "You shouldn't be here!" The boy said again coming closer. "Not now, it's too early."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yesterday I died...Tomorrow's Bleeding....

Peaceful.    
  
That's who he felt, peaceful and relaxed like every worry had gone away. He supposed it did, no Shield, no Hydra, nothing to keep him down anymore. Death was something he prayed for since he was born. Death was easy, there was no one to force you do things you didn't want, made the pain disappear.    
  
The first time around he tried to take his life after Coulson locked him up they got to him fast. He hadn't counted the hours right and the guards found him early, that coupled with the fact the button couldn't cut too deep saved him. But Grant didn't want to be saved, he wanted to die, he wanted his torture to end already. May visited him when he woke up, she spoke and he listened. She listed all the reasons why he didn't deserve such an easy way out of what he did and Grant didn't correct her. He didn't defend himself, his words would fall into deaf ears anyway.    
  
He was better prepared his next try. He studied his guards, counted the hours properly this time, and made sure that they would never find him until it was too late. He thought of Skye as he folded the piece of paper the right way. Thought of her and her beautiful smile, her sparkling eyes, her sassy mouth every time they had a fight. He didn't feel the pain as the paper cut though his already healing skin, he was used to it. He just closed his eyes and laid back, letting the dizziness to take over him. And as the seconds ticked by Grant felt lighter and lighter.    
  
Until he opened his eyes again and could see nothing but whiteness, blinding whiteness surrounding everything. Was that heaven or hell? He expected hell, he was far from innocent to be granted a place in heaven. He caused too much chaos and pain to be granted something so pure.    
  
"What are you doing here?" His head snapped towards the familiar voice and his eyes fell on the form of a small child. "You shouldn't be here!" The boy said again coming closer. "Not now, it's too early." He insisted finally reaching Grant.    
  
Grant felt the pain and guilt come back full force. So much for wanting peace. He fell to his knees in front of Peter and pulled the boy into his arms, hugging him tight. "Aren't you happy to see me?" He asked sadly.    
  
"I'm always happy when you think of me, but you shouldn't be here." Peter explained pulling back. "What did you do, Grant?" He asked worried. "Please tell me you didn't do something stupid. Tell me you didn't gave up your future." He pleaded grabbing Grant's shoulders. He seemed so young yet his eyes held such wisdom.    
  
"There was no future for me." Grant muttered darkly. "I gave it all up the moment I let you slip away."    
  
"Oh Grant!" Peter whined reminding his older brother something from their past. "How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't your fault? Christian was the only one to blame!" Was he though? Wasn't Grant the one that stood and did nothing? If he had been a little stronger. If he had a little more courage. If only he wasn't so scared!    
  
"Enough of that!" Grant changed the subject suddenly. "Tell me, am I finally free? Will I finally be able to live in peace?" The young boy frowned.    
  
"I told you, you shouldn't be here! Your time's not up yet! You can't stay." Peter exclaimed. "You have to go back to her."    
  
"Back to who?" Grant asked.    
  
"Back to Skye!" Peter said like it was that obvious and Grant was stupid for not getting it. "She'll be lost without you!"    
  
"Skye doesn't need me." Grant offered sadly. "She doesn't even want to see me."    
  
"That's not true!" Peter shook his head. "Let me show you." He grabbed Grant's hand and pulled him with everything he had. They walked through the white hallways swiftly passing by one door after the other.    
  
When they reached the end of it Peter pushed them trough a large door and Grant's breath hitched when his eyes caught sight of his surroundings. The room was full of images playing like movies all around them. Every single one was of him and Skye.    
  
"I like sitting here watching what you'll become." Peter whispered from beside him. "What she'll help you be in time." Grant said nothing though, his attention focused on what he saw. He studied them one by one from beginning to end.    
  
He saw him and Skye smiling to each other laying on a bed. He saw her belly getting bigger, he saw himself kissing it and whispering things to their unborn child. He saw them painting the nursery, decorating, picking names. He saw the moment she brought the tiny baby they created to life. Coulson and May clapping him on the back as if the past hadn't happened. He saw his son's first steps, the first words.    
  
"This can't be true." He said as he eyes rested on an image of Skye holding their son and looking up to Grant lovingly. "That's not my life." He refused to believe that something like that could happen, it hurt to much to even think about it. Think about what he gave up for someone like John! He could have all of this!    
  
"Trust me that's exactly the life you'll have." Peter assured him. "That's the life I want you to have because you deserve it."   
  
"Peter, I-" His little brother help up a hand stopping whatever he had to say.    
  
"I don't want to hear it." He said determinately. "You can lie to yourself all you want but I know the truth. I know that if you were offered the chance you'll do right by everyone you wronged and trust me someone is going to give you that chance. You'll take it, Grant. You'll take it and you'll prove everyone wrong!" Peter insisted. "She'll come around after you redeem yourself and this," He swiped around with a hand. "Is what you'll have eventually. What no one of us could have while growing up!"   
  
"It's not possible. Something so good and kind could never happen to someone like me." Grant didn't want to admit how much he desired what Peter showed him. How much he would try for them if ever given the chance. He didn't want to admit that a family with Skye was all he ever dreamed since he met her. It hurt less like that!    
  
  
"They really broke you didn't they?" Peter's question was rhetorical one. He had lived with what they had the misfortune to call family and when he died he stood guard over Grant and watched what his brother went through. How many times he was beaten to the ground, stripped from everything he held dear. But enough was enough, this had had to stop now! "Grant, look at me." Grant's gaze met the little boy's at his request. "No matter what they told you, no matter they made you go through, there's someone loving you even from beyond the grave. Someone that cares for you so much you can't even imagine. So if you won't stop doing this for you, do it as a favour to me and to her." Peter pointed at an image of a laughing Skye playing pick-a-boo with their son. "Do it for the child you two will bring to this world. Don't give up!" He pleaded with his brother, willing him to understand.    
  
"Okay." Grant nodded finally. Dropping to his knees again he pulled his little brother in for another hug. "I love you." He whispered placing a soft kiss on Peter's forehead.    
  
"I love you too but you have to go back, now!" Peter pushed him up to his feet and out of the room with all his strength. "You don't have much time, Grant! Go!" He yelled and Grant felt the ground slipping under him as he sunk into a dark abyss again.


End file.
